The next two days passed without incident. My father came in a rented buggy to pick up Sophie and I from the previously-arranged rendezvous point at the edge of the rainforest. We'd been tired, sweaty yet grinning like maniacs, and dad had just shaken his head at us and then helped us into the vehicle. As we drove away I'd looked back to the jungle where I'd spent three exhausting days, and stored every happy moment from our trip forever in my mind. I couldn't have been gladder to go home, but at the same time I was pretty sure that I would never experience any adventure like that one again, and I knew I would miss it.
Once we arrived home, Sophie and I eased back into our usual routine. We went for walks, in the parts of the forest that hadn't been obliterated in a fire started by the Weraynian two weeks ago now, into town, we hung out at my place, chatting and doing chores, we helped mum with her stall, and Sophie fiddled with devices at dad's work and everywhere else. I booted up our data unit to contact Leila on that first day back, and my face fell when I saw that she still hadn't replied to my original message from days ago.
Trying not to let emotions overwhelm me, I slumped back in my chair, feeling a sharp sense of loss.
"Abi, what's wrong?" Sophie asked from across the room where she had been scanning a produce list my mother had given her to add into her report on Flauraan, looking up to see my slouched figure.
I straightened and ran my hands through my hair, which was out and a mess, wishing I could connect with my old friend again. "Oh, it's just that Leila hasn't answered. It's making me miss her more than I already do."
Sophie was silent for a moment and I looked over to see an expression of deep contemplation on her face. She was trying to find a solution to my problem. Finally she spoke up. "What if I-"
"Tried to set up the messaging system to alert her through an alarm or vibration of her data unit?" I instantly guessed what her suggestion would be, and guessed correctly to by the way she scrunched up her nose. "No Sophie it wouldn't work." I knew the system would already be alerting her automatically, so a manual override by my technologically inclined friend would not help in any case.
"Well then how-" she tried again but I was on a roll.
"Can you help? You can't." I shot her down instantly, and then felt bad at the look on her face. I twisted round and stood up, stretching. "Don't worry about it, Soph. The only real solution is to see her face to face, and she's on another planet so that's improbable. Now get back to your report."
Despite my attempt to push aside the subject, Sophie still sat there a few seconds longer thoughtfully before delving back into her digi-file. I shook my head, turned off the data unit, and exited the room, heading for my science books. That was another thing I'd been doing since we got back; studying medicinal science. I just really wanted to be a healer, and there was so much to learn and know that I felt like I'd be reading forever, but I knew it was important if I wanted to heal people. There was no way to know what kind of sickness or injury I could encounter in future, and I wanted to be ready.
Of course, I had years to prepare for that course, so theoretically I didn't need to study any time soon. Realistically though I was kind of obsessed, and my recent encounter with the Weraynian had shaken me and caused me to view life in a whole new light. All lives were precious, and I was willing to do whatever I could to preserve them, as I feared the coming war.
It was something no one really talked about. I mean, the news talked about it, the leaders talked about it, countless scientists and members of the military talked about it as they worked towards it, but civilians in general avoided the topic altogether. I suppose we were all scared, paladanians especially because we knew the statistics, we understood what another war would mean. Death and destruction and conquest, all so the Weraynians could satisfy the alterations to their DNA which had them convinced it was the right thing to do.
If you thought about it that way, it's easy to see why I wanted to be prepared.
After about an hour of reading, and then watching Sophie mess about with gadgets, I gave up and as it was late decided to retire to my bedroom. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light.
The next morning meant training with Reeina. It was a program she'd devised to help me develop my powers. We didn't have a fixed schedule, but operated according to Reeina's free time, as she was a leader and was very busy. That day she'd booked one of the training rooms in the Counsel Building in town for our use, which was good as my telekinesis had in the past gotten a little out of hand, and the soft material lining the walls and the mats on the floors ensured nothing was damaged and nobody got hurt, for instance from being flung against the wall by a sudden outburst of psychic energy.
"Concentrate." Reeina told me, pacing back and forwards in front of where I stood, with my hands outstretched and my eyes closed. "To prevent losing control, and getting yourself or others injured, you need to be completely focused. If you grow used to this, eventually it will become instinct and you will be equipped for any situation you might find yourself in."
I nodded, refocusing all my brain capacity going spare into this, knowing my surroundings, feeling the charge of the air around me and the proximity of everything in the room. Bit by bit, I extended my mind to account for everything and then I was to try to raise the small writing utensil Reeina had placed on the table beside me for practice. I could sense it through the air, and I knew I'd be able to lift it with my mind easily, and yet something irked me. What Reeina had said, 'To prevent... getting... others injured,' had hit me hard and was resonating through my thought processes, distracting me. I felt hollow as it sunk in, my powers could hurt people. I didn't want that, in fact I wanted the opposite. Every time I summoned the psychic powers entrusted to me, I put people at risk. I thought of Jayne's face when I'd manipulated the staar matter in class, that ancient worry, and I knew in that moment that I didn't want that to happen ever again.
"Abigail, don't become distracted." Reeina scolded kindly, and I shook my head instinctively to stop the worries. You're fine, I told myself, if you learn to control your powers then you'll never hurt anybody again. But a part of me didn't believe it, and I'm fairly certain that's why, when I tried to pull myself together and bring up the pen, the memory of my dream flashed before my eyes and my fingers sparked in response, sending electric current through the air, and sending the implement flying.
I heard Reeina take a quickened breath and winced, before opening my eyes. Her hair stood on end from the static charge and her eyes showed her concern, which only deepened as I collapsed onto my knees, feeling drained of energy. We hadn't been training long but it had nonetheless been taxing.
"Abigail," Reeina repeated, kneeling down beside me and feeling my forehead. "What was that? What's wrong?"
I tried desperately not to show the unrest inside me, but she definitely saw; she was paladanian after all, and that only puzzled her more. She sat down fully beside me and wrapped her arm around my shoulders, understanding that in this situation physical comfort would still the chemicals in my mind better than words could, and she was right. I felt myself relax into her, squeezing my eyes shut as memories I'd been holding at bay for weeks flooded in.
Recounts and pictures of the Great War from long ago, my mother's terrified face as she realized the threat of another, the Weraynian standing over Sophie, smiling sickeningly as she nursed her broken arm inflicted by him, the smooth sound of the discharge from a gun which killed a human right before my eyes, the rush of battle between my people and Sophie's, all that suffering caused by him, and the pain and exhaustion which had taken hold of me as I kept moving on, needing a way to stop the return of a race bent on evil. What was just as terrifying was that one small dream from my childhood could instigate this onslaught of fear. I thought I was okay, but it turns out I was anything but. Even my paladanian mind didn't know how to cope. So right there in front of Reeina I started crying.
I knew my leader worried for me, and she smoothed my hair down with her hand as tears rolled down my face. I allowed myself ten seconds to release my emotions and then I worked on containing them once more, because I knew otherwise I'd fall apart completely, and then I'd never be whole again.
Once I'd regained my composure, Reeina knew she could question me on my sudden breakdown, so she posed a question;
"Would you like to try again?"
Hesitantly, I raised my hand and concentrated on the pen once more, but my mind was so far afield that the air sparked again and withdrew it instantly, shaking my head frantically.
"I can't- I can't do it."
Beside me, Reeina frowned, trying to work out what could possibly be wrong with me. "May I know what it is that has caused you such distress?"
I nodded and stood up, Reeina rising with me. As soon as I was standing again, I felt much more confident and in control. I suppose that comes from not feeling like a child crying on the floor.
I turned to face Reeina and took a deep breath so that I could regale my dilemma.
"On the morning of my first day back at the Learning Centre I had a dream that contained a memory from when I was seven." I began, twisting my fingers together anxiously.
"When you first gained your powers." Reeina noted and I agreed.
"Right. So, it seems things didn't go exactly as I remembered and I actually gained my telekinetic abilities that day." I elaborated, feeling so very broken. "It was an accident, caused by my lack of understanding anything that was happening to me, but my friends were hurt, and just then the dream triggered memories of worse things." I shuddered just at those simple words. There was silence for a minute as both leader and student thought.
"Show me the dream." Reeina eventually said softly. She extended her hand, and I stared up at her swirling eyes. Did she really want to see? I knew it might be useful but I felt reluctant nonetheless.
In the end I capitulated, placing my hand over hers and pulling the dream to the forefront of my mind. Like me, Reeina had an advanced mind which allowed her powers, though in a different way. Though she didn't have telekinesis, she could extend her mind in a most probably more useful way. She could see images that weren't within range of her senses. For instance, if she was inside a building, she could concentrate and see the outside. If someone was sleeping, she would be able to see some form of their dream merely by placing her hand on their forehead. Memories were easier though as they followed more logical parameters and as this dream was my past she would be able to see it just by grasping my hands. We both stood there and concentrated.
I showed her the dream, and everything in it from start to finish.When it was done, she dropped my hand and stepped back, contemplative. I waited silently, hopefully.
Finally Reeina returned her attention to me and I was almost surprised to see the deeply perturbed look on her face, but then I realized, she hadn't just seen my dream while she'd been plugged into my mind, she'd felt what I felt too, and if it was too much for me then of course it would shock an outsider. Her eyes clouded, indicating the intensity of her concentration, and then she placed a hand on my shoulder reassuringly. "Abigail, I understand why you are so shaken. What you have gone through alone during that terrible incident with the spaceship would be enough to freak anyone out, let alone the powers you discovered during it. Now, to know the precedent for those powers from this dream and to know the potential damage they can do, you are hurting beyond even post traumatic stress. You are afraid that you will mess up, and that the next time it happens there will be worse consequences than just knocking people over. I say, don't worry about it." She leaned down so her eyes were level with mine, searching. "Believe in yourself. Have confidence in the strength you've had in the past and it will stay with you. Fear is a poison, and if you let it overcome you, you will lose control, and then you'll never be able to help anyone as you so wish. You have been given a gift, Abigail, and you have to take care of it. Have faith, and you will be able to do anything."
I looked down at the floor for a moment to let her words sink in and then, looking up, nodded, feeling emboldened by her assurance.
"So you'll try once more?" Reeina pressed me, ever the teacher.
"Yes, I will." I replied, and then I moved back into position. This time, as I concentrated, instead of letting the pinpricks of terror deny me stability, I let them wash through me, embracing the strength that helped with fear and relinquishing it. Just like that, I was in control,and slowly but surely I raised the pen off the ground where it had been discarded, until it hung, quivering slightly, in the air before me. I opened my eyes and revelled in the sense of euphoria that came with my triumph. Reeina looked impressed.
"Good work." she said, unfolding her typically crossed arms. She moved over and plucked the implement out of the air, removing it from my grasp, and relieving me of my concentration. "You have big things ahead of you, Abigail."
"Thank you." I grinned, breathless but pleased with myself. "I couldn't have done it without you."
"You are most welcome." Reeina answered, with a soft smile. "Just remember, believe in yourself. I'm not just talking about with powers. Sometimes the simplest way for anyone to achieve is merely to believe they can."
I nodded. That was good advice. She was a good leader, all round.
We finished our training session a while later, after I had tried lifting and manipulating a few more things, and headed into the hallway just as amiable Capitol leader Savil Ro passed by. He grinned good-naturedly at us and as he disappeared through the elegant double doors that completed the corridor, I caught a glimpse of a familiar face through the opening. Curious, I pushed forward.
"Sophie?" I asked in confounder as I saw my best friend standing in the doorway of a side-room, and looking like a deer caught in power-beams at the sight of me. She ceased her conversation with the leader before her and dropped her hand to her side, trying in vain to conceal her scanner, where she could store temporary files and had obviously been doing so. This was very suspicious indeed. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to meet you obviously." Sophie regained her composure quickly and straightened, a lopsided grin on her face. I was amused by her expression, and shook my head. "I was just talking to, uh, Jan here while I waited."
Knowing it was pointless to interrogate her, I gave up. "Oh alright then. Ready to go?"
"Of course." We fell into step as we left the hallway together, each calling farewell to our respective leaders before we were out of earshot.
Back home, I spent some time helping my mother around the house as Sophie worked on her digi-file in my room. Shortly before lunch was due, I went in to find her looking at a strange planetary map, but I didn't catch a glimpse of the red form long enough before Sophie switched the image to that of an eye; paladanian biog data.
I bent down and lay next to where she was spread out on the ground. I quickly scanned the hologram projected above us, thoughtful.
"Hiya Abi. So this is a Paladanian eye," Sophie explained unnecessarily, gesturing to the transparent orb with displayed features hovering above us. Beside the model was a body of text giving scientific data and explanations on the eye. It was only a paragraph but it sure was extensive. "It's almost the same as a human one, with a few exceptions. You guys have, like, an optimally placed retina, and extra cones for sorting light and colours, and super-advanced neurotransmitters. It's pretty cool."
"I know." I replied and she sighed jokingly.
"And here I was thinking I was teaching you something new." she laughed and then minimized the data so that it projected merely the cover and description of her 'Staarus System' file. I smiled as I noted the huhdreds of entries in my head. The scientists on her home planet was going to have fun sorting through it all. Sophie's research was outstanding.
Since I believed that, even if it's not needed, you should say a compliment instead of merely thinking it, I spoke up. "It's amazing how much work you've put into this. You've done really well, Sophie."
She grinned cockily. "Well, you know, I'll do any amount of work to compensate for a few weeks here with my best mate." Sophie nudged me with her shoulder and I nudged her back. She tapped the digi-file and the hologram disappeared. We sat up, Sophie stretching out the stiff muscles in her back.
For a moment we sat as I thought and she looked in modest awe at the device in her hand.
"They're going to be so excited back home when I bring this baby back." She eventually stated proudly, excitedly, brandishing her digi-file with uncontained glee. "It's got more data than Mount Krisna's supercomputer and it's all on you guys! Biological makeup, planetary configurations, racial distinguishers, elemental ratios, geometric landscape, flora and fauna, history, customs, everything! I mean, up top was pumped when I brought back a folder on the Boorgs, and they've been known about for decades, but paladanians, and the Staarus system altogether? Totally undiscovered by my people til just a few weeks ago. How mad is that? I could be helping my people make breakthroughs, understand your people better so we can work together in the future!"
She looked ecstatic at the thought, and I was happy for her. I knew that all the work she did was really important, and I also knew that sometimes she didn't think so herself, that she worried that the longer it took her to find her dad's lost expedition, the more useless she became. Instead it was quite the contrary; when she wasn't devoting her time and focus to following every clue that might lead her to Eridanus' current position, she was slaving over reports to add to the knowledge of the human race and teach them about our universe. As a Paladanian I knew that intelligence was almost more important than anything. It was knowledge that gave us the capacity to do anything, and without it we would be weak-willed, mindless drones. So it was fantastic to hear her appreciating that in her own mind, good to know that my friend was pleased with herself. This kind of appreciation is one pleasure that is rarely at fault.
"After you give your report in," I posed a new question, grinning at Sophie's continued eccentric beam. "and are so highly honoured for it, do you know where you'll go next? Have you plotted a course yet?"
She scratched her neck. "I've started but I've been working on the report so... I was hoping you'd help me." Sophie widened her eyes hopefully.
I giggled at her expression. "Sure, just come have lunch first and I'll have a look."
Lunch was a simple affair, and once Sophie and I were both finished with our meals I washed up our plates and began to head to my room before I realized my friend wasn't following.
"We still going to work out a course?" I turned and asked her, confused to see her still sitting and about to start a conversation with my mother.
"Oh yeah. Good point." Sophie muttered, eyes darting left and right as she thought quickly. She picked her digi-file up off the bench and unlocked it, then held it out for me assertively. I took it, surveying her body language suspiciously as I knew she was hiding something. She smiled her usual eccentric grin at me as I raised an eyebrow. "You'll know how to find the files. Just work it out from there."
"You're not going to help me?" I asked, not because I needed the help but because I knew it was part of Sophie's personality to want to be involved with everything concerning her.
"You don't need me." she waved her hand dismissively, scoffing. More and more suspicious. "I'm just gonna chat for a bit with your mum and then I'll come and see where you're up to."
I glanced at mum, who shrugged her shoulders and gestured for me to move off. Rolling my eyes, I did so, considering eavesdropping on their conversation but then deciding against it. I was sure I'd find out whatever it was in time.
I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, consequently the implement I'd been manipulating with my powers earlier, and lay down on the floor in my room again. I opened the projector lens of the digi-file and tapped on the folders I wanted, the reports and maps on her travels and progress. Soon I had a large array of files hovering holographically over me and so I set to work. For the first ten minutes I just read it all, making sure I processed each data pick fully and then thinking it over. Then I started taking notes, one file at a time, taking into account all the occurrences and specifications from her reports. I left out all the places she'd already visited which came up dead ends or where the expedition had definitely long left. I factored out all the improbable destinations, using cosmic event logs and data on the set destinations. Finally I hashed together a simple set of trips for Sophie to take which was most likely to achieve good results and bring her closer to finding her father.
Once I was done I sat back and removed myself personally from the equation, so that I could judge my work impartially. I was on the look-out for any errors or slip ups, to make sure my deductions were sound. With one fix-up, I was then finished. I rested my head on the wall, proud of my achievement. It had taken me less than two hours to sort through all Sophie's travel logs and other data and construct a logical course for her to take.
Wait. It had been almost two hours. What on Flauraan was Sophie up to that was taking her this long? Deciding to find out for myself, I gathered up my completely covered paper and Sophie's digi-file and headed back out into the kitchen.
"I'll make sure all precautions are covered, I promise." Sophie was saying as I entered the hallway.
"I know you will, Sophie, you've made that quite clear," that was my mother's voice. "And I trust you but I still would rather-"
"Can you just give us a week or two then?" Sophie urged, her voice laced with nervous emotion. I wondered what the subject was, yet didn't bother to use my brain capacity to figure it out; instead I focused on keeping my movement smooth and silent, wondering how long it would take my mother to sense my imminent arrival.
"Fine." she said in answer to Sophie's request. "But you have to respect all my wishes regarding t-" Literally as I stepped into her line of vision she stopped talking and noticed my presence. Both she and Sophie looked at me with nonchalant smiles plastered on their faces.
In response I managed an amused smile and shook my head. "You might as well tell me. I know you're up to something."
Sophie sighed, but a teasing smile instantly replaced her disappointment. "Dang it." she joked. "I really thought I could fool you forever." she stood and moved over to me. I stepped backwards, placing the things I'd been carrying to the side and crossed my arms, expectant. I didn't know why. I just knew that whatever she'd been hiding was important.
"Well," Sophie began slowly. "It was just an idea I had, at first, because of some things you'd been saying like about messaging Leila and how we should go places more often and stuff."
"Go on." I requested, tapping my finger against my bicep as I waited, mind freezing as I started to see what was coming.
"So I've sorted the important stuff out, and gotten some help from leaders, and I just sorta finished talking to your mother about it, and..." she continued, and I watched her nervous smile, knowing that soon a radiant beam would take its place. "Well, we're going to Halapatov!"
There it was, that ecstatic grin as she proposed her idea with vigour. I stood for a moment, overwhelmed with the many emotions in my brain, and then gave into excitement.
"Yes! Oh my goodness, yes!" I grabbed Sophie's arms and we jumped up and down, mirroring each others' expressions. Mum laughed as we celebrated and my mind reeled with giddiness.
I was going to Halapatov.